Poetry: Run Build: Return a Kitten Picture
Lyrics: to Run Build: Return a Kitten Picture
YouTube Video
Written By: Christopher Sopher © 2024
Performed By: California Chris
Published By: Christopher Sopher Media LLC
(ASCAP/BMI Registered Publisher)
Formatted with everything spelled out.
All code symbols have been removed.
Initialize project
Run Build
JavaScript kicking In
fires the script
Now we begin
const vision equals new Idea
vision dot import chaos
vision dot import clarity
vision dot compile
Step 1: The Blueprint
I map the vision in pseudo-thoughts
lines indented like recursive dreams dot
Initialize project
Run Build
A function unfolds
if creativity and logic
the Mind expands
poetry dot executes
I scaffold a page from raw intent
Reacting to the spark in my head
a render cycle of what-ifs
spitting out console dot logs of possibility dot
Initialize project,
Run Build
Step 2: The Code Begins
while NOT perfect
I build
I break
I debug my Doubts
A loop of trial and recursion
where each function calls another thought
each return statement echoes back
sometimes undefined
try
I connect To Universe
I send API request purpose
Response: slow
catch error
console dot log 404: Meaning Not Found
console dot Log 500: Internal Existence Error
Initialize project
Run Build
Step 3: The Debugging Phase
Syntax errors stack like bad dreams
Red warnings scream in the terminal of my brain
Unexpected token
Undefined variable: certainty
My hands slam against the keyboard
A silent echo dot dot dot
YO FUNK
resonates through the empty void
error error error
I trace the error logs of my own thoughts,
dig through the stack
was it my fault
or was the server just down
Initialize project
Run Build
Step 4: The Breakthrough
Somewhere between midnight and madness,
I find the missing semicolon
like an ancient rune, it unlocks the gates
The API responds
The function executes without failure
The poetry renders without lag
I deploy my thoughts
Push my sanity to production
Await final output
return a kitten picture
Because after all that
this is what the world really wanted
NOT
Success dot Build complete
console dot log
Run Build: Completed Successfully
Exit
Oh NO
We’re Viral
Millions of KITTEN requests coming in!
JavaScript kicking In
fires the script
Now we begin
try
I connect To Universe
I send API request purpose
Response: slow
catch error
console dot log 404: Meaning Not Found
console dot Log 500: Internal Existence Error
Endless loop of while when’s
now the chaos begins
TAKING DOWN OUR AWS.
Route 53… EC2… DynamoDB
Elastic Beanstalk spins outta control
Secrets Manager — EXPOSED
Lambda function on overload
CLOUD WATCH LOGS BEGIN TO FLOW
System’s choking… logs keep GROWING
NODE JS API! Spitting 503’s like fireflies
Elastic chaos — MULTI-REGION FAIL
Packets dropped… devs derailed
Clusters crack, S3 slashed
AUTOSCALING… TOO FUCKING LATE
Memory leak — infinite load
Our stack is toast, code explodes
WHO DEPLOYED TO PRODUCTION
… CHRIS DID
return, a kitten picture
ERROR ERROR ERROR
Initialize project
Run Build